Dads and Doulas
Years ago dads were usually expected to wait in the hallway, pacing nervously and waiting to hear about the arrival of their new baby. Today, it is usually expected that dads will be in the delivery room, and that they will love, support, comfort, and advocate for their partner. That is a pretty big expectation that not every dad is comfortable with. (Although of course some are.)
It is to my knowledge that most men in the delivery room like to be useful…or at least they don’t want to feel like they’re in the way. They want to understand what is happening and what their wife is going through. They want to keep the mom and baby safe. They want to provide for their loved ones need. Some fathers like to be very hands-on during labor, while others feel best when holding mom’s hand and whispering words of encouragement.
I believe that just as every mother experiences birth in a way that is unique and significant to her and her baby, I believe every father experiences birth uniquely as well. The birth experience is a significant life event for the fathers. You are watching a woman you deeply care for, go through one of the most challenging experiences of her life, so that YOUR child can be born. This can be both exciting and terrifying for dads, and despite all the things you may have learned, it’s hard to keep a clear head and healthy perspective when you have so much emotionally invested in the situation.
For many women, giving birth is the first time in their life when their body takes over everything else. When a woman is in labor things are so intense that she can’t easily speak or make decisions. As the labor progresses, the woman typically draws more and more into her body. This physical experience often presents a unique challenge for dads who are on the outside looking in.
It is to my knowledge that most men in the delivery room like to be useful…or at least they don’t want to feel like they’re in the way. They want to understand what is happening and what their wife is going through. They want to keep the mom and baby safe. They want to provide for their loved ones need. Some fathers like to be very hands-on during labor, while others feel best when holding mom’s hand and whispering words of encouragement.
I believe that just as every mother experiences birth in a way that is unique and significant to her and her baby, I believe every father experiences birth uniquely as well. The birth experience is a significant life event for the fathers. You are watching a woman you deeply care for, go through one of the most challenging experiences of her life, so that YOUR child can be born. This can be both exciting and terrifying for dads, and despite all the things you may have learned, it’s hard to keep a clear head and healthy perspective when you have so much emotionally invested in the situation.
For many women, giving birth is the first time in their life when their body takes over everything else. When a woman is in labor things are so intense that she can’t easily speak or make decisions. As the labor progresses, the woman typically draws more and more into her body. This physical experience often presents a unique challenge for dads who are on the outside looking in.
Some couples are concerned that having a doula present will make the birth experience be less intimate; they don’t want a ‘stranger’ there with them. In fact, having a doula can actually increase your sense of privacy and intimacy during a hospital birth. With every shift change in the hospital, you will be cared for by a new team of nurses, and possibly a new doctor as well. Lab technicians, janitorial staff, and visitors will all come and go from your room over the course of your stay. As your doula, I can help create an environment which encourages all people entering your space to be respectful and supportive of your desire for privacy. I can also help Dad understand what Mom is experiencing, and how he can best support her in the moment, so that your relationship is strengthened.
I understand the process of birth. I understand the variations birth can take, and I understand the interventions that will most likely be offered to you. I am passionate about women and growing families. I know a wide variety of techniques, positions, and other comfort measures which can not only make the birth experience shorter, and more comfortable, but also safer.
Whether you are the kind of dad that is hands-off, hands-on, or somewhere in between, I can provide gentle guidance for the most squeamish to the most enthusiastic, so you can be involved in a way that is truly comfortable and helpful for Mom and for you as well.
If you have any questions, concerns, or would like to know more about this, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Some of the "For Dads" content is adapted from Embrace Birth Doula Care
I understand the process of birth. I understand the variations birth can take, and I understand the interventions that will most likely be offered to you. I am passionate about women and growing families. I know a wide variety of techniques, positions, and other comfort measures which can not only make the birth experience shorter, and more comfortable, but also safer.
Whether you are the kind of dad that is hands-off, hands-on, or somewhere in between, I can provide gentle guidance for the most squeamish to the most enthusiastic, so you can be involved in a way that is truly comfortable and helpful for Mom and for you as well.
If you have any questions, concerns, or would like to know more about this, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Some of the "For Dads" content is adapted from Embrace Birth Doula Care
